"Mom, why's your hand all bandaged up?"
"I don't know what you mean, dear."
"What's that "L" on your forehead?"
"What "L" is that, dear? It's probably just a shadow from the sun, honey."
"No, mom, it's clearly an "L." As in Loser."
"All right, dear. I broke the first rule of interacting with dogs."
"And that is...?"
"Never let your guard down when two strange dogs are near each other."
"English, please, Mom?"
"Okaaaay... I put my hand near an angry dog's mouth, and it became an hors d'oeuvre, okay honey? Happy now? Your mom is an idiot."
"I see. Was it a big, mean pit bull?"
"No, dear, it was actually a small breed. I've never been bitten by a big, mean pit bull. Just those little ones. Always the little ones."
"You're enjoying this, aren't you honey?"