After yesterday's post, I told mom that it's only fair that you know The Story of the Toys and How The Little Stinky Bugger Monster Stole Them All.
I mean, stealing toys is one thing, but this animal, this thing has a real problem.
You see, he takes them and brings them outside. He never once brings them back in so we can play with them again. Oh, nooooooo. Once they go outside, they're lost for good. We never see them again! Nylabones, Kongs, rope toys, tennis balls by the dozens... Mom has to buy new ones because they disappear! Poof! They vanish. Into thin air. Or into the woods, I don't know. Maybe the sqwerrels get them! (Oh, horrors. If that's the case, this is worse than I thought!)
So here's the sad story. You be the judge!
It all started one day when I was all alone, just having fun with my favorite rope toy. (I LOOOOOVE rope toys. They're probably my favoritest in the universe.) I was so happy, chewing away, not a care in the world.
Then, something happened. The Little Stinky Bugger Monster thing snuck into the room. At first I didn't see the monster because my eyes were closed. (Hey, remember that I was in toy heaven chewing on my favorite rope toy, minding my own business! Some Stinky things might take a cue from the minding their own business part!)
I warned The Little Stinky Bugger Monster! I gave it my best growl and snap! Quick and mean... That's how I operate! Heh, heh. I thought everything was okay. I'm pretty mean and tough! But The Little Stinky Bugger Monster was fast. It grabbed the rope toy! Grabbed it! My FAVORITE rope toy!
I fought as hard as I could, but The Little Stinky Bugger Monster was strong for a little bugger! It wouldn't let go! I could feel the toy slipping from my grip. Slowly, inch by inch, I was losing my FAVORITE TOY! I knew that this poor, poor toy was soon to join all of the others...
Outside, in the grasp of The Little Stinky Bugger Monster! All of our toys, MY TOYS, lost to this usurper. This thing that came into our lives and stole our toys, one-by-one. And gave them to the sqwerrels!!!!
It's not right I tell ya.
